Secret

it not good to keep secret as it can really tought to a person... i really admire those ppl who can keep secret for a long time or bring the secret undisclose even they are going to die... Secret is a burden to ppl as it can affect them in many ways.... it can be good or bad.. depend wat secret he/she carrying...

i'm tired, veri tired of keeping a secret which i have kept for at least 4 yrs... many ppl ask mi b4 which i choose to keep silent.. i let them say all they wan.. all kind of story.. i still remain silent..juz wan to let the case closed.. i always tell my friends to carry on their life even their partners left them.. i always say ' dun let them see that u r weak & hurt. show them tat u can live better without them' , ' leave those past behind, 2molo will be a better day', 'Work & Play, keep urself busy, stop when the day come when u no longer tink & feel sad', 'Be Strong, dun let them affect u, it is hurting those ppl who care u', 'life will still carry on even u r down, why not live ur life with fun & laughter, wouldnt is better than sad throughout ur life, it will be damn tired' etc...

but it is hard when come to me in person.. like today nicole from m1 told mi, in service line, we smile in surface yet our heart is crying... i smile to every1, no1 will ever notice when i sad or in trouble, i choose to remain silent & normal... so tat i can have peace instead of questions flying around.. sometime i like to be alone as i can feel peace, no stress, feel the world is quiet...tat is the time i feel i not exist in this world..

i feel veri bad of it... it is me.. it is my fault..n i am really sorry...time wait no 1.. words cannot be taken back when it is said..i need some1, some1 who i can tok to... not juz mocking at mi when i say..but no1 have taken my word serious as i am juz a clown & joker...
but i feel happier in tat way as no1 is affect by my personal problems... i have no right to make their moods feel bad juz bcoz of mi...lucky for mi.. i have not collapse yet..but soon, i tink i am unable to take it... i still waiting, waiting for the right person...